BLIZZARD BREAD-CHASERS

run on bread and milk in advance of east coast snowstorm

This is a summary of conversations I had today with a bunch of people about my response to NYC’s Snowmageddon:

They: Did you go shopping for the blizzard?

Me: Nah.

They: Why not? It’s supposed to be a serious storm.

Me: I buy food every week, and have a pantry that’s probably good for two months. Why do I need to buy more food?

They: In case the power goes out!

Me: [Gives gas face] And—what will that do to all that milk you just bought?

The prevailing NYC raid-the-supermarkets groupthink over a few inches of snow has been on my mind to rap about, but Vice’s Munchies blog captured plenty of my thoughts. Bless those cats.

I dropped by a store today to get a wedge of cheese for a dish I was craving to make, and it slipped my mind for a moment that my neighbors were on that Little House on the Prairie BS. My cheese was likely one of the few food items left on the shelves.

But I left the cheese and walked outnot a fan of long-azz cashier lines.

(Laughing) And wassup with buying all this damn bread to prepare for a snowstorm?

Didn’t you people have enough of long lines after Black Friday?

What’s wrong with keeping a pantry of legumes and grains for a snowy day? And don’t you have ANY food in the refrigerator? I mean, before today

Let’s assume THE snowstorm to turn back civilization by a century hits New York City tonight. How in the hell will four loaves of bread help your family to survive?

And then there’s this:

C’mon, son. You’ve been living roll-to roll all this time, until an approaching blizzard motivated you to think higher of your likely dirty azz? I’ll leave that for another post…

My suspicion is that Bamas are so locked into dine-out and order-in modes where buying groceries—and possibly even preparing food—are their versions of living off a survival instinct.

I had a phone convo with one of my friends, who thinks all this blizzard-hoarding gives people a sense of adventure, since they don’t have much else happening in their lives.

Ow.

Anyway, relax peeps. The food supply chain—for good or evil purposes—is not permanently broken in this case, and you’ll likely see more bread in a day or two.

And perhaps a Brother can buy his cheese without the pre-apocalyptic retail drama…

song currently stuck in my head: “give it up” – lee dorsey

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6 Responses to BLIZZARD BREAD-CHASERS

  1. nergizd says:

    hahaha this is golden

  2. try working in it, my friend. oh heavenly mother of god.

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