CREFLO THINKS THE BIBLE WAS WRITTEN ON PLATINUM PAGES

creflo dollar creates controversy by requesting his congregation fund a 65 million dollar aircraft

My editorial policy initially informed me to make no mention of millionaire clergyman Creflo Dollar—known from this point in my post forward as reverend Cash-Flo’—since everyone else seemed to do a cool job of ripping him a new orifice after he announced the need for a 65-million dollar jet plane to help support or advance his ministry.

But it wasn’t until I rapped to my dude Ken about it before I realized that I have a few lines to offer as well…

I wonder if reverend Cash-Flo’ ever read the 82nd psalm in the Bible (King James Version):

82:1 God standeth in the congregation of the mighty; he judgeth among the gods.

82:2 How long will ye judge unjustly, and accept the persons of the wicked? Selah.

82:3 Defend the poor and fatherless: do justice to the afflicted and needy.

82:4 Deliver the poor and needy: rid them out of the hand of the wicked.

82:5 They know not, neither will they understand; they walk on in darkness: all the foundations of the earth are out of course.

82:6 I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.

82:7 But ye shall die like men, and fall like one of the princes.

82:8 Arise, O God, judge the earth: for thou shalt inherit all nations.

I also wonder if reverend Cashflo’ even cares that Jesus Christ was a materially poor African revolutionary who was not only an advocate for the poor, but he was also born in poverty. If Jesus’ parents had any loot, don’t you think they would’ve upgraded those birthing accommodations beyond the smelly-behind stable where Jesus ended up being born? Worse than just a stable, Jesus’ more precise birthplace was a trough—you know, that nasty thing horses and cattle eat from. The Bible calls it a manger.

After the rest of you are done with the pearl-clutching moment, grab a history book to confirm Christ’s ethnicity and his socio-economic backdrop…

Moving on, the prophets didn’t think Bethlehem, the birthplace of Christ, was a prize city for the rich. Check the book of Luke, second chapter, sixth verse:

2:6 And thou Bethlehem, in the land of Juda, art not the least among the princes of Juda: for out of thee shall come a Governor, that shall rule my people Israel. (Emphasis mine.)

Here’s how the revolutionary Son of God summarized his ministry through this scripture reading, as told in the Bible’s Book of Luke, chapter 4:

4:18 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,

4:19 To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.

(Laughing) I’m sure reverend Cash-Flo’ interpreted those last two verses to mean people “poor” in spirit, as opposed to broke folks, but Christ was speaking to a group of religious and social elites at that moment. It was the equivalent of laying a deserved bombshell of knowledge on the unsuspecting, except Christ chose not to drop the mic and leave—he sat down and drew stares from the shocked congregation.

While we’re on the topic, scriptures made distinctions between material and spiritual poverty when Christ walked the earth. Check the Second Book of Corinthians (8:9):

8:9: For ye know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that, though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, that ye through his poverty might be rich.

There’s no inherent crime in being rich, or lifting others out of poverty. I just don’t see reverend Cash-Flo’ doing much of the latter.

Forget the suggestions that reverend Cash-Flo’ could fly first class all the time and still spend less than $65 million, or that he could build housing and create jobs as a substitute for his dream jet.

Here’s an idea—reverend Cash-Flo’ should invest $65 million in teaching poor communities financial literacy and business skills as a way to permanently move them out of poverty. I would imagine that the Son of God would be down with that kind of ministry.

Cash-Flo’ appears to have performed an excellent job of uplifting wallets from pockets over the years, but heavy spirits may need to find a church…

song currently stuck in my head: ” exotica” – john coltrane

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