eHARMONY STUDY: WE HELP YOU STAY HAPPILY MARRIED!

 

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Let’s see…online dating website eHarmony sponsors a study that concludes not only married couples who met online have happier marriages than the couples who got together offline, but the marriages spawned from online dating yield happier marriages when compared to their offline counterparts. And I’m supposed to believe a study sponsored by an online dating company that big-ups online dating…

I’ll pause here to warn you of a few things: I’m not married, I will likely never use an online dating site—more on that some other time, and I find meeting people easy and stress-free. Therefore, some of you who believe online dating is your FINAL CHANCE AT LOVE will likely be offended by my post. This is your opportunity to click away from me now…

Aside from the fact that the metrics in the eHarmony-sponsored study don’t appear to overwhelmingly tilt in favor of online dating but seems to favor eHarmony’s match-up abilities over those of the competition, this study is NONSENSE.  

Why?

Because the research was conducted by interviews, which brings up a big problem – most online daters are LIARS. [PDF]

Yes, they LIE.

And they LIE.

And LIE some more.

[Laughing] And we’re now supposed to believe that the same LIARS who likely fibbed on their online dating profiles about how they look like Hollywood stars, have superhero bodies and make crazy loot, suddenly took a break from their lying azzes to tell researchers that they are “happy” with their marriages.

Move on to the next customer, because I ain’t buyin’ it.

Here’s a link to the study, if you’re interested…

song currently stuck in my head: “caravan” – duke ellington

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